good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
