Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Randomize
