you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
