your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
