There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
