i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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