there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
