I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
