Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
