went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
