im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
