My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
All the doctor said was why
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
