Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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