one two three fourrrrnication!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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