all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
