So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
