Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
