And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
