a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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