Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
