I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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