no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
