these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
