It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
