We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
