We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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