do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
