I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
