I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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