i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
