You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
