Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
