They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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