super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
