A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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