so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
