Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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