if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
