stop calling my apartment porn island.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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