So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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