i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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