I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
