i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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