But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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