Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
