The maid of honor just puked.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
nutella sex= disaster
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
