no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
