from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
