he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
