I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
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